I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
and you said cock pushups were impossible
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Randomize
