pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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