please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
