my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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