so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
