she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
