How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i was born a porn star she said
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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