Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
