that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I love you.
Bad choice
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
