What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
