I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
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I need you to use more vowels.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize