Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
