Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
