Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
