Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
