He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I need a beard to bite.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
