yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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