god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize