Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you would pick up someone in the library
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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