whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
