The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
