Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
