butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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