yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
