Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
