hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
