More tranny stories later!
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
