You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
