i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Randomize
