u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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