Don't you send me to vm
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
