how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
