I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
