I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
