your thong is hanging out like whoa
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
