we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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