she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
