I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize