my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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