just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
If I die, sorry about rent.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
