My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize