Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
