Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
