Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
NoShamevember. You game?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
