I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
