those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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