Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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