we have officially lost it.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize