My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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