So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
