It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize
