I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
