i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize