she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I need to stop coming to work sober
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
