super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
what day is it and did you see me today?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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