her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
