i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
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