Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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