Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
