Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
