I puked a lego.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Randomize
