So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
