escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
