Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
