I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
i think we sleep fucked last night...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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