I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize