This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
