Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
