i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
