Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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