there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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