Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Every concussion has its silver lining
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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