he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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