Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize