I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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